Kony 2012

There are few things in this world that seems to inspire me. Unfortunately like probably many of you, I am a citizen of the world desensitized to war, slaughter, rape, kidnappings, poverty and so on. Not that I don't care about the issues I see on the news, but because these things are so frequently depicted through media a lot of these stories grab my attention for only a moment until the next commercial comes on and it's back to my content life in North America. Sadly, most of these matters tug on my heart strings but then disappear once the next story comes out.
So when my friend, Sara, mentioned this viral video floating about Facebook I was reluctant to watch yet another viral video bringing awareness to yet another international issue. I felt that me, simply watching a video wasn't  going to help these people because how much power does an individual citizen really have? We are not the decision makers...
Boy, was I completely wrong.
Kony 2012 is the most inspirational video I have ever seen in my life, and if you haven't seen it Google it. It wasn't just the story of Jacob that inspired me to want to be apart of this, it was the fact that for once in my lifetime, I am witnessing individuals, like me, make a difference by forcing our decision makers to help a cause we personally feel is worth fighting for. In this age of interaction through so many facets of media and social networking, I have finally completely understood the age of technology that we are living in. We have developed a way for anyone and everyone to have a voice using what we have. Kony 2012 has shown me that we have more power then we think.
Yes the story is uplifting and I want to participate in the cover the night event to not only be a part of history, but also save those children in who are being killed, kidnapped, mutilated, and rapped. This year we have this amazing chance to make history. All of us. If we can get Kony arrested then this will definitely confirm the saying "one person can make a difference".
I am completely in awe of what I saw in that video and I am very intrigued to see if our world is comprised of people that want to make the world a better place, or if we really are part of a hopelessly fucked up world.

If Kony is arrested in 2012, my perspective on the world will completely change.

TightRope Walking: The line between singledom and a relationship

I live in one of the roughest looking parts of Waterloo, well currently I am moving up to one of the "DEEE-LUXE" Student apartments with some close friends, but for two school years I could definitely describe my area as the STUDENT GHETTO. On my old street, garbage coats the road, broken beer bottles glisten in the winter sun among the fresh snow that smothers our dirt lawns. Homeless drunks pine for any remains of empties that we haven't already taken back to the beer store ourselves, but one thing I loved about good ol' Spruce street was my old neighbour Dan, who would install a tight rope between two trees and walk along it doing flips and tricks for fun (That acrobatic bastard). He would tighten the rope until it was a least a foot off the ground, crank some music in the front yard and walk along the tight rope with a cigarette in one hand and a Molson in the other. A few times he would call me and my roommates over to try. Every time I got up on the rope I would desperately try to balance myself and walk across. As far as I was concerned, if I set one toe on that concrete it would gobble me up alive. The thing was, even though I was only a foot in the air the whole idea of walking along a tightrope felt dangerous but exciting, and challenging myself to actually walk across the rope without falling was so enticing. Much like how I tend to walk the line between "singledom" and relationships. I always know it's safer and easier to walk on hard solid ground... but as soon as I see that tightrope I just gotta give it a try.

Every girl goes through this, and if not then I guess I'm the only one. We fiend for a relationship whether it be pathetically in public or secretly to oneself. Either way, every girl wants that secure feeling of being with someone to love and who loves them. But we also suffer from an attention disorder that causes us to act like whores... or maybe it's just me. Why do we do this? Is it because we always think that we can do better? As women do we intentionally seek a thrill? 

We've all done it at one point. A new relationship ensues or maybe you've been in the relationship for quite a while and it's starting to get dull. The girls want a night out and BOOM! before you know it you've met another man at the bar, he buys you a few drinks and you find yourself thinking "how far can I push this before I have to tell him I'm taken?" From there you have two decisions: 1. go home with him, your man would never know or 2. politely decline the offer and go home to your man. No matter how the outcome is, it's too late you, my friend, have already walked the tightrope.

I think "tightrope walking" is a sign of something. Whether it means your man isn't stimulating you anymore or not paying enough attention to you. Whether you miss the freedom of being single or you want to be desired by everyone. It usually means something... finding out what it is your responsibility.  Tip#3 of the Twenty-Something Survival Guide: If you are tip toe'n on the tightrope, take the time to stop and think about why you are doing it. There is no such thing as harmless tightrope walking. But if you do choose to walk that tightrope you have to remember, that there's always a chance that you could fall off and maybe loose a couple teeth in the mix.

In Limbo All by Myself...

At 21 years old...

I have had the absolute honour of meeting some of the most interesting and incomparable girlfriends in all of Toronto. Particularly, I have this one friend who lives life like a CW drama. She has dibbled and dabbled in anything that any normal girl would run from. For her privacy we'll call her Jazz.

Having been completely enthralled in my summer job and a new long distance relationship, I realized that I hadn't hung out with Jazz in such a long time. Our usual hungover, sushi breakfasts were long over due. So finally last week we had some time to catch up on the Go train before we hit up the Drake concert. We talked about her usual midnight adventures and her crazy sex life... the orgy story kept us giggling until we hit Scarborough and then things got a bit serious. I was surprised to hear that the "Samantha" of my girlfriends was in an actual "relationship". Now I put quotations around the word "relationship" because obviously what Jazz classified as a relationship sounded, to me, like a situation where a girl thirsted for love from an ex-criminal and alcoholic who used her for sex and money. Immediately I was alarmed, but even though the specifics of her story spelled out R-U-N, I could see that Jazz liked having him around and really believed he cared for her. This got me thinking of how some woman will do anything to run from loneliness...

 Too often we hear ridiculous stories about women throwing themselves into awful and sometimes dangerous situations for mere companionship. It's something that has always boggled my mind. Why are women afraid of being alone? Is it that urgency to be protected or taken care of? If so, I'm afraid the existence of women hasn't changed much from the days of the Victorian era.

 Unfortunately, the fear of being completely alone was something that I knew all too well. If you were to ask any girl what her biggest fear was she'd probably mention her fear of being alone (among her more legitimate fears of getting fat and old), and even though this was number one on my list of fears I had never known the true meaning of loneliness until the night before my 21st birthday. Being a girl who liked to experiment, men, drugs, and alcohol finally all caught up to me in my third year at university and suddenly I couldn't handle much of anything. I realized that I wasn't the confident, boy crazy, party girl who could saunter through life anymore. I had grown up and become accountable for my actions. I had broken up and severed my relationship with my high school ex-boyfriend, jumped into bed with any guy who could stand me, lost faith in my friends, pushed away my family and annoyed the shit how of my roommates who were tired of my drunken rages and holes in the walls of our house. And as I lay in my bed on the night of January 4th in complete darkness I felt completely and utterly alone. I grew up a parasite needing people for validation, for guidance, for self worth, for love and when the reality of life rejected me I was forced to be alone...the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

 You see, most women think that once you hit rock bottom the only options you have is to become a bitter old spinster for the rest of your life or continuously dig yourself a deeper hole until you cease to exist (morbid, I know). But looking back, I can truly say that, that night I had entered into Limbo.

Has anyone ever seen the movie Toothless in the 90's? I was about 7 years old when I watched (a then thinner) Kristie Alley playing the role of a dentist who gets hit by a car and instead of dying she enters into limbo and works as a tooth fairy, while awaiting judgement to see if she takes a trip to heaven or the "hellavator". Figuratively, limbo is what I call that place where one gets the chance to be alone. Some women embrace the sheer terror of being alone, and take the time to transition into facing your demons and healing themselves, while others panic and take yet another trip down the "hellavator" to a new rock bottom. To me, the point in my life where I entered into limbo was that very night where I had to face the fear I had been running away from for most of my teenage life... being alone. I knew that in order to turn things around I would have to spend some time on working on myself self esteem, staying away from the guys that used me, the heavy partying and even taking some time to myself to and staying away from my friends... yes being alone! Tip#2 of the Twenty-Something Survival Guide: Facing your fear of being alone, actually requires you to be alone.

Part of the reason why women leech unto men is because they need an identity to form an opinion of themselves. How many times do we see one of our girlfriends who hates football suddenly develop a keen interest in the Steelers because of her boyfriend? It's something we are all too familiar with. In limbo, we can take as much time as we need to figure out ourselves without interference of any kind, and actually develop a identity for ourselves. This was something I chose on the night of my 21st birthday and 8 months later I can truly say I am close to where I want to be. However the sad truth for many women is that the fear of being alone is so terrifying that it could paralyze someone who isn't ready for limbo, but for those who are ready for the change...it could be the start of a brand new life.

As Jazz' story came to an end as we got off at our stop, I glanced at her as she fixed her mascara in the reflection of the window... maybe the hell of dealing with men like him was part of her charm...after all she always liked playing with fire.

A Woman's Secrets: All in One Handbag

I Love Toronto...

I love the urgency, the panic, the crowded streets, the men with shiny cufflinks, and the private school girls that look like they came right out of an episode of Gossip girl. I even love the smell of the exhaust from the downtown traffic, and the hordes of pigeons that harass you during lunch. But what I love the most about Toronto are the women. A little "lesbionic?", maybe, but if you were to sit down in the middle of union station with a Starbucks and an 45min wait for the next GoTrain, you would realize that watching all the different types of women pass by can really entertain a girl. 

Some people say that trying to lick your elbow is a completely impossible task. (And about 3 out of 5 readers will then try to do it after reading that last sentence) But I say trying to figure out a woman's secrets is the most impossible task in the world. Men pay attention, no one can know the absolute details of a woman' life except herself, even her closest girlfriends will never fully know or understand the details of her life. A woman carries millions of secrets in her handbag, whether it be for her friends or herself. This is something that, in my 20's, I am just starting to completely understand. 

In the fashion world, handbags come in different sizes shapes and are made by many eclectic designers, and as any sensible woman knows that each handbag carries certain items and goes with certain outfits for different occasions. For instance you would never wear a tote to a mid-day garden party... right? In my hand bags I carry the world. Some of my purses carry some of my darkest secrets I hold dear, and in my clutches and satchels are pieces of stories from my girlfriends' lives. But much like a woman standing in her closet choosing the right companion for the day, a woman's secrets are something a women only herself can carry. So as you sip on your macchiato, watching that 20-something in the black skinny jeans and pink bat-winged cardigan racing to platform 7, take a minute to try and guess her story. I bet you wouldn't have a clue that held, compactly in her brown Steve Madden autumn tote, she carries all the secrets that you can be read on this very page.

If you're looking for a Sex and the City type blog full of scandals it's best that you exit out of this page right not now. Because Tip#1 of the Twenty-Something Survival Guide states that: A real woman never reveals complete details about herself or her friends. After all, it's a Women's nature to be discreet and mysterious, right?  This blog is merely an illustration to the age old saying, "Put your feet into my Jimmy Choos"